"Nathaniel? You okay?" Not especially, no." His words were slightly slurred, and I wondered how much of that brown liquor he'd had. He gestured to a chair across from him, and I perched uneasily on the edge.We sat silently for a minute, awkwardly, and I was about to stand up again and excuse myself when he finally spoke. "She begged me to, you know. To rape her. It would be better than letting Thomas have her, she said. Kinder. She begged me to 'accidentally' kill her instead of letting it drag on."I closed my eyes, trying to force back the tears and the horror I knew he didn't need from me. I was frantically trying to think of something – anything – to say, and coming up blank, when he spoke again."And Maker help me, I was going to do it."I sat, thinking about what I could say to that. "Nathaniel ... if it had been me, I would have said the same thing. Some fates are worse than death, and sometimes mercy requires a friend's help, no matter how painful." I reached out and gripped his. I figured if it bothered me too much, that I’d just go to bed early. That’s when Dawson asked, “Have you done that before?” “What, sex?” I asked. “Well, yeah, I mean, no,” he started to blush. It was so cute. “I mean, what she’s doing, or pretending to be doing.” On the screen, a woman was performing oral sex on a man, or at least, that’s what we were led to believe. I’m never sure with some wannabe pornos how much they actually do versus how much they fake. “Oh, yeah. I’ve done that.” He gasped and asked, “Did you, ugh, I mean, that is, ugh, did he-” I had to stop him before he died of embarrassment. “If you’re asking if I swallowed his seed then the answer would be yes.” Dawson’s face went white. Perhaps I had been to blunt with him, and suddenly I was afraid I had guessed wrong when he asked, “Does it taste gross?” I had to keep from laughing. That had to be the most honest question I’d ever been asked about that. So I smiled and said, “Truthfully, it depends on the man..
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