Whenever we perform, he jerks off and he's on top of the world. It comes crashing down right after he shoots his load. He's filled with shame. He always tells himself this is the last time, after every fucking cum shot. He's not gonna quit, though. He's addicted to that thrill of masturbating for a living. He's addicted to the shame. Funny thing about Nicky, he's actually trying to shrink his cock. I gave him that idea. Like, what could be even more humiliating than pleasuring yourself for a living? Well, how about doing that with a really small cock? So, he's in the process of doing that, steroids, hormones, that sort of thing. All legal stuff. We'll have to see how that goes. We don't want him to grow boobs or anything. We're not even paying him extra for doing that. He wanted to! When I told him the idea, there was this look of horror in his eyes, like "What have you done to me?". It was so funny. He was horrified, but he was so horrified because he knew instantly he would go. I have to do something for you now,” as she say’s this her eyes fill and she starts to cry properly, I get her to turn her body so we are face to face again.“You don’t have to do anything for me, I am very content just giving to you, to show my love for you in a way that gives us both pleasure, and believe me I got as much enjoyment out of that as you did.”We lay together, just holding one another. I have never felt like this about anyone before, I loved Lynda, with all my heart and soul, but it didn’t feel like this, I thought I loved Angeline thirty years ago but we didn’t form any sort of permanent relationship; we only ever dated. When I met Lynda I felt I knew true love, it bound us to each other in a truly giving way, neither asked anything of the other, whatever one wanted the other gave freely and as though psychic. It was us forever, and through our children we could go on for evermore. It didn’t come to pass in that way, just as after Angeline I had to start again, and I.
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