Every time it was a little harder against my back. The voices were shouting at me. ‘Say it! Say you love it!’ In the dream I began to shout. ‘I love it!’ They were down to the small of my back. ‘What do you love? , Say it!’ ‘Pain,’ I answered. The blows were coming faster and faster. ‘What do you want? SAY IT!’ They were moving to my buttocks. ‘More!’ The passing beverage cart jolted me awake. I stayed awake long enough this time to look around where I was seated. Across the aisle I spotted a cute guy. He was skinny with pretty white skin and curly brown hair. He was wearing a UCLA sweatshirt. Before I dosed off I smiled at him, and I think I might have blown him a kiss. My mind was so fucked up, who knows. The chairs were all in a circle. It was some kind of 12 step meeting for sex addicts. One by one the people shared their story. This one gal got up. Her name was Ginger I think. ‘Hi, Ginger.’ everyone chorused. She started talking about how she was addicted to playing with. She felt that this could open up to greater opportunities in the future. If we could hold off on the family for a couple of years, she said she would make it up to me.I didn't have much of a choice and I relented. One month later Mary began as the personal assistant to Dana Larson, vice-president of finance for Cascade Capital. I didn't know at the time, but Cascade Capital was the venture capital firm the ultimately owned the company I was already working for.Early on I never noticed a change in Mary or in our relationship. Our lovemaking did decrease, but I assumed it was because of the sometimes-odd hours she and her boss worked. Occasionally she had to attend meetings with him past dinner and was tired when she got home. In the later months, our sex life began to suffer more. I tried to do things to please Mary, but she ignored all of my advances. I don't think we made love for the two months leading up to the awards dinner. The concept of her cheating on me was so alien that I.
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