" Spur of the moment decisions rarely have lifelong consequences," Beverlyretorted. "Unless what you were doing was something wrong, which you andI both know not to be the case. Ian, I?m never going to tell you what youshould do with your life. You are a man. It is your life, not mine, notyour girlfriend?s and certainly not your parents?. Any decision you makewill equally be yours, such as your recent decision to look towardshaving a hysterectomy." The sooner I get THAT out of the way, the better," Ian said. "And notjust because of the recovery time, heh." Of course," Beverly said softly as she mused on how the young man'sdesire for the surgery was borne not from a desire to follow a set pathtoward fully transitioning, but to follow his own path- to be his own,independent person, just as all children must eventually be.Beverly relaxed back in her chair as she filed away her notes from hermeeting with Ian. As concerned as she was for the young man?s welfare,she had to remind herself. "It is your fault, Maud, if you'd only let me I'd've locked her in." Dan, please." She'd've been mad, she'd've hated us, but she'd be alive."The voice wails, "I am gone."He remembers the sounds of weeping, locked behind bedroom doors.The voice wails, "I am gone."He remembers sitting on the grass in the little oak grove, watching his funeral, there's his mother and father, standing stiff and separate. There's his older sister standing stiffly apart from the guy who's going to soon enough be her first husband.Steve is right their on the grass beside him. Steve's hand kneads his thigh. He slaps it angrily."Ah honey," Steve pleads, "Let's fuck. What else is there to do?"The thought of it makes him sick. Every time Steve touches him he slugs him.They look across at the silent party. Even her friends look quiet and stiff, standing to one side. There seems to be none of the guys, Steve's pals. She watches the casket being lowered. She especially watches her Dad and Mom. So still and stiff.
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