But I still felt pretty hot!We drove to the city, about 45 minutes away. Walking down the street we were all disappointed in how few people were dressed up. It was only around 7 and we were hoping as the night settled in more costumed groups would come out. I was extremely embarrassed and felt like everybody was staring at me. The girls all joked and repeatedly told me I looked great. Little by little by settled into the part and just went with it.We started out at one of my favorite bars in town, had some apps and drinks over very lively conversation. After being there for an hour or so we headed to another bar across the street. We still had only seen maybe 15 to 20 people that were dressed up.At the next bar we ordered drinks and asked the waitress where all the Halloween parties or dances were. She told us a couple of spots but said the dances didn't begin until 10. We hit a few more bars, drinking and killing time. Around 10:30 we went to the dance club, paid the door charge and. If she wanted to tell me, then she would find the right time. The water felt good but my mind was on my baby. I hadn't heard her yell before and it was a little disheartening. It also brought to light how little I really knew about Tamara Sanger.I expected her to join me in the shower but that didn't happen. After about ten minutes, I turned off the shower and stepped out to dry off. For the first time since I met Tamara, I felt naked and... I felt helpless. Thousands of thoughts were running through my mind. Should I get dressed and leave, should I climb back in bed, or should I get dressed and go downstairs and fix coffee?I dressed and did the hair thing. I was beside myself, I was usually in control and right now, I wasn't. When I was completely ready, I opened the door and listened to see if I could hear anything downstairs. All was quiet so I went down the stairs. I reached the bottom and turned toward the kitchen. There I saw her balled up on the sofa. She was crying with her.
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