??I just feltmy still seemingly too large chest heaving when I heard Dr. Sandstrom'svoice, at normal speed in my dream, say "Say your new name.??Repeat itover and over again.??Say your new name.??Repeat it over and over again."I realized there was a tiny speaker over the one-way mirror and that'swhere he was probably watching.??I couldn't remember my name, and there was pain inside my head again.There was so much muddled in my head, and there was pressure on my skullagain.??I struggled through my names and who wanted what name, and it wasso confusing until I focused on my new name and began repeating it.??Iclosed my blue green eyes, and slowly I repeated and repeated my namewhich I realized was more like one hundred times as my voice slowlychanged.??The shrinking size of my chest, shoulders and neck wasblissful, but painful.??The bliss came along with the correspondingchanges in my voice.??Sounding like a little boy was one thing, but thesound of little girl's voice at my command was. I think about it every day. But I just wanted to forget about everything. I wanted to forget the look on their faces as they held me down and tore my clothes off. And I wanted to forget the look on your face when you bashed then with that club. You scared the hell out of me, Jordan. I was already terrified and you managed to scare me even more.“I saw your face! I know you enjoyed what you were doing!”Susan was practically screaming by the end. The calm she had managed to keep for so long was shattered and tears were rolling down her cheeks. But this needed to be said.“You’re right,” Brock screamed right back. “I enjoyed the hell out of. And you know something else? I’m glad I hurt them so badly. I only wish I’d have killed them all. Every last motherfucking one of them deserved to die for what they did to you. How many others did they do that to? Have you asked yourself that? How many more would they have done it to after they were finished with you? Well I can tell you how many they.
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