For three consecutive days I'd taken Keira out for the day. We'd talked and done no more than hold hands. I hadn't even kissed her. The power of my dream, its intensity, and the desire I'd experienced, were warning bells. If I was this enamored with her after holding her hand and just being with her, what would happen if I kissed her? I couldn't ignore that she was underaged and, based on my reactions, there was a big chance I might not care if I ever actually kissed her. I was teetering even now.I envisioned the embarrassment I'd feel if our developing relationship was revealed, my co-workers disapproval, my mother's disappointment, Keira's family's disgust. The fact that those thoughts didn't bother me was an indication of how smitten I was. It had to stop. It might be as hard as kicking a cocaine habit but I had to stop. There was too much at stake for Keira and for me.Absentmindedly I reached for my ever present ruler, shoved it inside the cast on my arm and scratched as if I had. On and on. One deliberate footfall after another, his measured clomp clomp-ing the only sound in the night.Bingo paused on a bus bench, ran his hands over his face and felt the last of the warm alcohol buzz leave his body.He was committed to his feat now, despite his waning enthusiasm, a source he had plumbed to get him to this about-half-way mark. Punishment no less than what he deserved, mused Bingo. Weeks ago he should have explained to Amelia his social awkwardness, his propensity to procrastinate, his unshakable commitment to stupid mistakes that too often ended up as life choices because he allowed time frames to stretch and then found there was no room for recourse.Bingo wasn’t wealthy enough to consider taking a cab, so he plodded and whilst meticulously using up all of his energies, he tried not to plan. He simply made his way to the door of her studio and when he arrived, he knocked. He sat down on the step and stretched his toes in his damp socks, wondered about blisters..
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