.. except for my Richard and he won't ask because he loves my hair long. I want to grow it waist length for him if he will let me...and I will keep it like this length because it pleases him, however I am sure that he will agree if I ask. Sean and I always agreed on everything... of course we did, so that he could get into my pants. The places we traveled together and the restaurants, plus the expensive gifts that he bought me, they were impressive I will admit to that. It was like I was in a fog... of course, a fog! Because that is what you are Sean, disingenuous and insubstantial; you polluted water vapor, you were in lovewith yourself; the reincarnation of Narcissus admiring his own reflection in a stagnant shallow pool and destined to be transformed into skunk cabbage by the gods for your vanity, your self-love. As for the causes that you championed, I was so impressed at the time...it is obvious now that you never believed in them, like so many of the people of the. No dreams, no sensation, barely an awareness of a moment'stime, like I'd been switched off.And then switched on. Everything felt paralyzed, tingling like my foothad fallen asleep but over my whole body. Blinding light, coughing upsomething wet and slimy from my lungs, a roaring in my ears...a roaringsound that faded, fell away, distinguished itself into words, a woman'svoice speaking as I felt arms wrapped around me against my naked skin."Hamilton Carver. Your name is Hamilton Carver. You're a retiredbusinessman and Air Force General. You have a son and a daughter. Yourname is Hamilton Carver. You're awake, your body has been remade, you'rejust getting the feel for your new body, everything is going to be fine.You're healthy, you're safe, you're not in any danger. Your name isHamilton Carver..."The voice went on as I gained control of my breathing, felt the panickedshaking subside, my pounding heartbeat slow. And that's when I felt it,or rather the absence of it.Pain. The ache of it.
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