There was a diva from Spartawho was a magnificent fartaBOOM! went her ass withBach’s B-Minor Massand for an encore she played a sonataThis one is compliments of Gary:The doctor came out of the exam room chuckling after he had given a physical to an old retired sailor. His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tattooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting. ”“Very well, Doug, if you insist, but it seems so disrespectful. You said that you had some questions for me. How can I help you?”“Okay, that’s better. First of all, what is this place and what is the year?”“This is Earth, of course, and the year is 2017.”“Oh, shit! I must have moved to an alternate Earth. How long have those demons from Hell been around to bother humans?”“They have been here about 75 years, I don’t know exactly how long since it was before I was born.”“How did they get here?”“I don’t know for certain, but there are legends. Sometime around about 1940, there was a sort of revolution in Germany, and a political party called the Nazis took over. A faction of the party was fascinated by the occult, and they began to try to bring demons and other evil spirits into the world to work for them in their ambition of world conquest. After some years of effort, they achieved their goal and opened a channel to Hell.“The evil ones poured through the gateway, and quickly.
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