It will just put more pressure on him.It's odd to suck his cock when it is limp. I've done it before, of course, but only for a few seconds as he was hardening. He doesn't harden now. He remains limp and tiny. He can tell that there is no reaction and he tries to stop me at one point. I persist. It looks more supportive-and more desperate-if I keep trying. Like a surgeon over the operating table of a dead patient, I won't give up. As if my will alone can bring Chris's cock back to life, I fight on. But, of course, it is no use. When I finally give up, I am the dejected, but valiant fighter. There is no hope. The patient is lost.I cuddle with Chris and tell him, unconvincingly, that it is okay-that it doesn't matter. I tell him this with an intensity that shows how much it does matter. I make all of the excuses for him-he's tired, he's under a lot of pressure, and all that. None of it reassures him, of course. None of it is really true. He has no excuse for his impotence-none I'm. I was willing to do it all on my own, but only because I didn’t want you to experience the pain I feel every time I take a life.”“I felt no pain,” Sygor declared defiantly.“Then I congratulate you on that,” I told him, “but others in our group might not feel the same. That’s why I’ve first asked this of each of you, today, before any other question that I need to ask. Talking about it is important. Those men and the two women with them deserved to die. I had been tempted to send them out into the snow to let Mother Earth claim them, but the risk was too great that one of them might have survived. If that person did, the chance was there that they would have caused more harm. I will never argue that we should have spared their lives, but I will openly state that it saddened me and pained me to do the job. However, if the job must be done again, I will do it. If I need help doing it again, then I will ask for help. If you cannot do the job again, then I will ask another, and nothing.
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