Not ever. And now he will take my virginity. I have always wanted to give him the things he wanted, and I had, most of them. But not this. Not yet. Still, it was time, I had been thinking. I sensed I hadn?t yet crossed a line I knew to be out there, a line beyond which one loses one?s self completely, a place where you well and truly abandon yourself to being fucked and degraded and performing whatever act your man wants you to do and wants to do to you, so that you then truly become capable of giving up control of everything that is you, so that you come to him naked and without pretense and ready to give him everything. To never, ever be able to think of yourself the same way, to know that the dark thing that was once safely inside you now owns you. Yes, you will be owned utterly, an abject, pitiful thing. Yet there is power in being owned, too. You might be a possession, after all, but you could be a prized possession, like a Picasso or a prize-winning thoroughbred dog or a. The country was proud of the men and women who had achieved victory, but the pride was tinged with a small seed of shame. There had been a lot of death and no one really knew how to deal with the national guilt of having killed so many people.That uncertainty was reflected in the primaries. The candidates for President who won their parties primaries were very moderate across all of the political issues. It looked like the fight for President was going to be less divisive, but more closely contested. The two men had different philosophies on how to go about resolving the major issues, but they basically agreed on what the issues were and what a successful resolution would require.The American electorate had changed significantly over the past eight years. It had learned from experience that the men and women elected to lead the country had a real effect on their day to day lives. No one could forget the fear that had been present when terrorists had been running around the country.
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