The thought of bringing a child to life in the world I had been living in turned my stomach, and my breaths became fast and shallow as panic gripped me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on taking deep, slow breaths to stave off the attack, and when I felt calm enough I looked up at Gabriella, who was pressing two paper tissues to her eyes and kept swallowing, possibly to keep from crying. She continued to tell me her story, her voice thick from the tears she was fighting. ‘If that boy had been forced to stay with his father after the death of his mother, then his story probably would have ended just as badly as hers. And I still think that what he did at his mother’s funeral was one of the most courageous things I’ve seen, even though he still beats himself up for not doing it much sooner. What he did was to walk up to the most powerful grown-up he could think of, which happened to be his uncle, to tell him about his father and the way he had treated his wife and son. I’m so glad. Go to your room and finish what work you have.’ After taking my plate to sink I walk off down the narrow hallway into our room. I sit on the superman bed and look over at the bird. The Robin blinks at me and we sit looking at each other. The bird then dives at the cage walls and thrashes around for a bit. The sound makes me jump. ‘Shut up you stupid bird.’ I rap on the cage. After awhile the bird stops thrashing. I can hear my father’s voice through our thin walls, muffled as his voice is I always know when he is upset, the air around the house stands still and everything shrinks into itself. I sit in the corner between the wall and my desk. Lynn and I got a boombox for Christmas. I turn it on and play one of my mother’s old CD’s as loud as the box will go. Picking up my sling shot I fire a few rounds off across the room, aiming at the trash can I try to make a few in. After the sling shot becomes boring I sit at the desk. I start to doodle some more on a scrap piece of paper. My.
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