’ A ‘Shoshana’ file on my computer held her deliciously warm and readable emails. Was I smitten? What do you think? After dinner at a Malaysian restaurant in late December, before she left for a family gathering, I surprised Shoshana with a Hanukkah gift, a two-CD set of Cajun and Zydeco music, reflecting our interest in world music and her knowledge of French. She called me from an airport a few days later to thank me. I doubt she understood what a huge emotional leap I had to make to buy her a gift. Or, given what followed, perhaps she understood my gesture all too well and it frightened her. I heard nothing while Shoshana was away, but that didn’t surprise me, given the press of family matters, distance, and the decompression of recent divorce. As I initially wrote to her, we could take things as fast or slow as she wanted. New Year’s Eve passed, the work week started. No calls, no post card, nothing. I sent her an email with the jaunty subject line, ‘Welcome back from the land. Wo razzi ho gai abhi tak mere maan usko le kar koi galar khayal nahi aaya tha . Phir hum dono mere room mai gaye usney khud andar se door lock kar diya aur kaha ki koi disturb na kare isliye lock kar diya maine kaha theek hai. Wo mere pass hi aa kar late gayi phir baatein karte karte kab neend aa gayi pata hi nahi chala kareeb 3 baje meri aankha khuli to maine dekha jyoti mere pass hi bekhabar so rahi thi maine pehli baar uski chuchiyon ko dekha kya mast thi uski saas ke saath upar neechey ho rahi thi mere maan kiya ki usko jhu kar dekhu lekin himmat nahi hu lekin mere dil beqabu bhi ho raha tha phir maine ek trick use ki mai dubara late gaya aur apna ek haath uski chuchi par rakh kar soney ka natak karne laga thodi der baad jab usney kuch reaction nahi diya to maine dheere dheerey uski chuchi ko sahelaney laga aisa maine kareeb 10 min tak kiya phir bhi jyoti ne koi reaction nahi diya wo chup chap soti rahi phir maine himmat kar ke uskey kurte ke andaar haath daal kar uski chuchi ko.
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