’ ‘I always smile when you ask me about Jon. You’re crazy and your crazy questions make me laugh.’ ‘I know they make you laugh and I know you smile when I ask you about him, but this was different.’ ‘How?’ I ask, laughing some more. ‘You weren’t talking about him when you smiled. You were thinking about him.’ My laugh stops mid-flow and my smile fades. ‘Oh shit,’ she says. ‘Oh shit,’ I say. Neither one of us brings it up again before we part ways, and I’m deep in thought as I’m walking to the subway, when I get a text message on my phone. The number looks vaguely familiar, but I can’t place it. It says ‘I miss you.’ I feel sick as the numbers connect to a name in my head. I write back ‘Who is this?’ I wait holding my breath for what seems like hours before I get ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that beautiful smile and heard that beautiful laugh, Bells.’ Then, ‘It’s Christian. I’m across the street.’ I swallow my rising panic and look in every direction across from me until I. I didn’t see him there at first, the bright lights ofthe front room still sparkling in my blurred eyes. Butas my vision adjusted, I realized that there wassomeone laying sideways across the bed. “Oh,” I said, “I didn’t realize there was someone inhere. I’ll go,” and I started to leave. Whoever was on the bed raised his head and said,“Robin? Is that you?” I recognized the voice asWayne’s. I paused for a moment, then turned back intothe room. “It’s me,” I said. “You don’t have to leave,” he said, propping himself uponto his elbows. There was something in his voice thatsaid while I might be company, anyone extra would be acrowd. So I closed the door behind me as I moved overto sit down by him on the bed. He laid back down, and for a few minutes neither of ussaid anything. I trembled, physically and mentally, atthe intimacy of the moment. My slightly blurry brainsearched for something to say..
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