Before the thought of him touching me, even holding my hand made me panic, feel repulsed and I backed away.“I’m scared,” I whispered into his shoulder as he held me close, the musky scent of his skin caressing my senses, his fingertips edging toward the centre of my back, the rain sticking my punk styled faux hawk to my scalp, the wind off the sea making it hard to stand on the cliff top. “Don’t be. I promise I’m not like him. I’ll never be like him.”There was now only one thing stopping us, stopping me, from taking this from this dusky, wet cliff top back to the hotel room up the street; my psychotic ex boyfriend. The guy who had scarred my so badly eight years ago, it had taken until tonight to even let Jamie hold me close, to finally let his gentle touch caress my arms down to my palms, to let him entwine his fingers round mine. “It will be fine. I promise.”Dropping his hand I begin to pace, back and forth in front of the beautiful sun setting behind us, over the whale bone arch. But then, suddenly the last truck in the group slowed, brake lights came on. I couldn’t believe it. An old pickup backed slowly towards me. The windows were already down. An old man was behind the wheel. He stopped and studied me for a second. “Hola, Señor,” I started“Do you wish a ride?” he asked.“Please sir, if you wouldn’t mind,” I choked out the words.“You can hop in the back if you want to,” he said motioning over his shoulder. I climbed in quickly before he changed his mind. He started off down the road with me riding on the crates he had stacked in back. The night air was cleansing in a small way. The stench from my body was being blown away. The wind and my tears had finally washed away the remnants of the gang’s attack from my eyes.I began staring at the bill fluttering in my hand. I had never touched a bill so big. I knew they existed, but never dreamt I would have something like that in my own hand. We went along for maybe fifteen minutes when off to the right I began.
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