” George gave him a look. Bingo! I thought. Dave is in! “I really enjoy getting fucked,” I said, the booze making me daring. George looked surprised, but Dave said, “I’d do you. You have a nice ass.” The quiet one knew how to charm. My heart fluttered and my ass twitched. So I set it up. We passed the park boundary and the trail narrowed. Bushes brushed my bare legs, wetting them. My heart shifted gears as we got close to the pavilion. To calm my wanton thoughts I considered how I would handle this. I could approach it two ways. Either take control in an essentially receptive role, submitting on my terms to get what I want, or just surrender and let it play out. The act is not the issue. The issue is control. I offer my body to be used, certainly, but not to be abused. I share myself for mutual pleasure. I know how to submit without surrendering. I learned from mistakes. Lacking experience, drunk, and in a highly debauched state of mind my first time, I made the mistake of. No one home. I started feeling sad, worried, in the darkness it seemed as if some great bird had flown over and swept away what once lived here, with the shadow of its wing. But wait. Can you feel that? I entered the last bedroom on the left. There’s an energy. So much life. The bedroom lights were off, and something lay lightly in the shadowed valleys of sheets on the bed, in blissful slumber. In nothing but boxers, there lay my prize of love for one single night, in a lifetime. Despite all his fame and all his power, Fergus looked so vulnerable and delicate here, just like any other 13-year old boy, obeying the rules of sleep and bedtime. I switched on the digital video camera and put it down on the side of the bed focused on Fergus. Then I climbed on top of him. I touched his face. The softest. I felt his breath on my fingers. Like a countdown. Calm breathing of ocean waves. Stop. I ripped off his deep blue boxers with a supernatural force I didn’t know I had. I barely had time to.
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