It was as much as he could do to earn enough to keep himself and his son. His ex-wife had a drink problem and didn’t work so he gave her money to keep her from losing a roof over her head. He blamed himself for what she had become, no matter how much I tried to show him it wasn’t his fault, that we all choose our own path and walk it alone. So how did I come to be standing here, outside the bar where I knew he was singing tonight? Chance? When conference organisers wanted someone to speak on my specialist area in his city, I wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity. Maybe this was the time to lay my ghosts, to get to know someone at a deeper level than before. I didn’t tell him I was coming. I said I was attending a conference and would be away for a while. I didn’t want him to be concerned when I didn’t appear online for our nightly chat. I knew he worried about me. I had emails from him asking about my health, my car, problems with the central heating boiler. I was just as bad.. Over the next few months myefforts to get Bill into lingerie ceased. Without that pressure from meand with Bill seemingly embarrassed by his bra fitting experience, thelingerie suddenly stopped being part of our bedroom activities. Duringthis period the bra and panty sets sat unused in Bill's dresser. It soonbecame obvious to me that the intensity of our lovemaking was suffering.In spite of this neither of us seemed willing to discuss what hadhappened or why the intensity was suffering. Weeks turned into monthsand still the two of us continued to pretend Bill had never gone for abra fitting or worn women's lingerie. We also pretended our love lifewas as good as it ever was.Unfortunately my subconscious wasn't going to let go that easily. Istarted having dreams that seemed to show me what I really wanted in thebedroom. The first time it happened I dreamt I was standing in front ofour bed, with Bill kneeling in front of me eating me out. His talentedtongue was bringing me close to a.
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