And maybe to feel myselfhumiliated, I don’t know. I was so ashamed I justcouldn’t tell you about it, at least the bad stuff, Iknew it would hurt you too much and I-I didn’t wantthat. And what would you think of me? Your husbandJohn, the pervert.” He paused for a moment to collect himself. “But I justcouldn’t get these thoughts and feelings out of mymind, they were there every time I thought about youand they seemed to be getting stronger, more real. Icouldn’t seem to help myself, I was getting off onthem,” he went on. “I hoped that all of this couldremain a fantasy, a dirty little secret in my mind thatit would never go beyond that. That I could somehowkeep you from knowing how… how sick I was.” Hisemotions were so strong that tears ran down his face.“Then, when Leon came to work for me and we saw thatwoman and he mentioned to me how much he like bigwomen, everything suddenly changed. It was like he wasable to. Tom had told him that he would be the next crew chief and it wouldn't be that far in the future. As he walked into the kitchen, he picked up Julie and swung her around and then gave her a big kiss."You'll never guess what happened today my lady," he sang."What?" she said laughing at his sparkling mood."I got a raise and a bonus! Kapow! How about that?" He was gleeful and couldn't wait to share his good fortune."Oh Robbie, that's wonderful!" Julie was suddenly as enthusiastic as he was."Yes! It's not just some token raise either. It's a BIG raise ... and," he said, drawing out the drama. "I'm the next crew chief when the opening comes." Robbie! I'm so happy for you. It's all happening so fast. You should be proud of yourself too."Julie was just as happy as he was and their enthusiasm was contagious."Come on, we have to have a celebration," he continued. "We have to have a special event to mark this." Why don't you take me out to dinner? We can go on Sunday and I get to be waited on.
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