" Teri giggles."Do you want to follow me to my place?"Teri lights up, "Oh, that would be great!"So after a short drive, we arrive at my place.I open the door and usher in the couple."Wow this is a great place." from Tom"Thank you. Shall we go into the living room? Can I get you a glass of wine?" Yes."Teri requests, "just a quarter glass for me, thanks."I pour the wine and I direct Tom to a chair and ask Teri to sit next to me on the couch."Please ignore Tom. He is here only for my protection and his frustration. He isn't here, in fact he will remain here in the living room." That is fine with me."So Teri begins, "This is an introduction for you and me. Tonight we will get to know each other, what we like and don't like, limits and above all desires." So Teri, I am here to please you, what are your desires?" Thank you, Bull, yes I want romance leading to sex between equal partners. In the future either you or I may take the lead, but tonight…." Equals." Yes, Bull, are you going to make. “You really need to figure yourself out,” he says. His voice has dropped low. “You want me to help?”I want him. In the small, suffocating hotel room with the broken AC and the closed windows I desperately want him. Part of me is adamant that he’s the only man who can ever really satiate me. And then there’s another corner of my brain which suggests that perhaps my memories of him have been edited by fantasies. Perhaps he wasn’t all that good, only I made it out to be so in my head. And if so, I’ve been willfully dreaming about a man who doesn’t really exist.Cole exists. But I don’t know if my version of him does. Maybe I’m obsessed with an ideal. Maybe all the lights and flashing cameras and late nights and broken high-heels have gotten to me. Maybe I’ve been dreaming of a dream. It’s plausible. In fact, I’m beginning to think I need an appointment with a $10,000 per hour shrink. But then he makes his move. He doesn’t kiss me in the way Brandon kisses me. His mouth is harder; taking.
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