”“That wasn’t the issue,” I spat. “I know you’re protective of Liz and, you might not believe it, but I appreciate it. Yeah, I was looking at the maid’s butt. I don’t have an excuse and I wouldn’t offer you one if I did. It was a cute butt so I looked at it. Big fucking deal. My problem is with what this ... person ... called two little boys that I am very fond of. Oh, and I should add, that her employer is very fond of, as well.”The man glanced at his wife.“I asked if they were his children,” she said with a shrug.“Don’t compound your stupidity by lying about it,” I yelled. The guy stepped between me and his wife with his palms upward. “She asked if they were my little bastards.”He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned his back to me.“Why would you say something like that?” he asked in a voice that was just as angry as mine.“Because she’s an angry, hateful bitch and she’s pissed off that she’s been told to do something she doesn’t want to do,” I provided. “Now get her the fuck. Looks like you got a little water under the house” he said. “No k**ding” I answered as I pulled myself up out of the water to stand beside him. “Did you see anything leaking?” he asked. Brushing the mud off of my knees, I replied “No, I can’t find anything leaking.” Looking around, he responded “Well, you know it’s been raining off and on for about a week. Maybe the drain is plugged up at the front of the foundation. Let me take a look.” With that, he walked around and got down on his knees to inspect the pipe. “ Yep” he said “ Nothing coming out. Let me see if I can find something to unblock it with.” As he headed out to the old tool shed behind the house, I looked down at my wet, muddy jeans and thought that there was no way that I would be able to get back into my car in them. Thank goodness I had a key to the house. My Ex came back from the shed with an old bamboo fishing pole and said “Let’s see if this will work.” Laying it down at the front of the drain, he began to push it up.
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