Don't know if I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, but we both know that's not the same thing. I'm not sure I can reconcile us being in love with the fact that you and Maddie were in love with each other. I'm scared of how quickly you changed between Maddie and I, and I'm afraid that you might leave me behind just as easily." I learned a long time ago that sitting around pining for someone doesn't get you anywhere. You have to learn to move on. In Maddie's case," I smiled sadly, "I might have moved on a bit faster than necessary. Still, you aren't a rebound. I'm not using you to get over Maddie because I care for you too much to let that happen. I could have pushed you away Friday night, but I believed that we had something between us that would have developed after Maddie and I broke up, regardless of the timetable.Almost all of my relationships ended with the other person breaking up with me. If you ever decide to do that, I'll be hurt deeply, but I'll find a way to leave. The bonus was that it was Guy Fawkes’ weekend so we could take in a good fireworks display, always a plus to people like me, young, fond of bright colours, loud noises and a good night out. ‘Simon, I think I’d really enjoy seeing your town and meeting your family. My only pre-requisite is that you come up and see mine some time.’ ‘Done.’ Just like that my fate was sealed. I realised then that although I’d been fucking Simon for a few weeks, I’d never asked him about his family, his siblings, or anything to do with his life before college. I’d only opened up once, when he’d surprised me with a penetrating question that I couldn’t deflect. I promised myself that I’d ask more questions in future before agreeing to insane weekends away. I let Simon book the coach tickets back to his place. Unlike most English towns, Weston (as the locals called it for short) had the advantage of an alternative to the overcrowded and unreliable National Express coach service, and Simon got us two seats on.
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