We started our life together.The door to my small room opened and a female attendant entered. "Ok honey, it's time to get up, take your meds and get cleaned up."I slowly stood up as if I was still medicated. She had me strip naked and start walking to the shower room. The medication cart was at the shower room door and she handed me a small paper cup with my two pills in it. I put the pills in my mouth as she watched. When she turned to put the water on, I spit the pills into my hand. Once in the shower I opened my hand and let the pills wash down the drain.She washed me down not seeing the pills fall.I was starting my way out of my drug induced stupor. A fleeting thought crossed my mind, "What if I need these pills to stay alive." But then I really didn't care if I lived or died. I just wanted my mind back.My next memory to return was after about 10 years of married life. I had 7 year old twin children, a boy and a girl. Phil and I had a nice house in the country. It sat on 20 acres. “You shouldn’t have any trouble finding what you’re looking for,” he said, moving his eyes up and down my body, “a sexy looking girl, like you,” he added then turned back to removing the faucet handle.I didn’t know how to respond to what he just said, but I liked it and could tell there was an attraction. I couldn’t believe I had just arrived in Boston, moved into this tiny apartment and here I was with this sexy man flirting with me. I was getting aroused but didn’t know what to do about it. I only knew I was getting really turned on.“So any ideas where I can find the kind of excitement I’m looking for?” I asked surprised to hear those words coming from my mouth. I had never spoken to a man like that, but somehow feeling sexy in what I was wearing and liking how he looked at me gave me the courage to push the envelop, break out of my shell and be the new me.“Depends on what kind of excitement you’re looking for,” he answered, turning from his work. He smiled, his blue eyes looking.
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