He turned to see what had captured my attention. I felt a need to explain, maybe he would take pity on me and we could leave, like a dog with its tail tucked between their legs."So that's the ex, huh?"I nodded and tried to keep my eyes on my date, but they veered to my right and I was again watching Harold eat some pasta. He used to love my pasta. I'm sure he missed it."Seems like he's doing well, I don't think he'll start a scene. Why don't we just ignore him and enjoy ourselves. That'll show him!" My date smiled.That's just what I needed, to add salt to the wounds I inflicted upon Harold."I think we should just go," I said.My date grabbed my hand. "It's just dinner. I've already ordered. Besides, you've been divorced for what a year now? You can't avoid each other."He was grasping at straws. I knew he didn't want to cut this date short. His hand felt warm. I hadn't felt someone hold my hand in a while. I had to admit that it felt good.I tried to fake a smile, I'm sure it came out. But on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries.”The man from Canada sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said: “I gave my wife a stern look and told her that from now on she would have to do all the cooking, the shopping and the housecleaning. Well the first day I saw nothing. The second day I still saw nothing. But on the third day, I began to see a little bit out of my left eye.”Canada ... Home of the Free!TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISHYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoWe need = I wantI’m sorry = You’ll be sorryWe need to talk = I need to complainSure, go ahead = I don’t want you toIs my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautifulDo what you want = You’ll pay for this laterI’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re deadYou have to learn to communicate = Just agree with meBe romantic, turn out the lights = I hate my thighsYou’re so ... manly = You need a.
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