"Make sure," Dolores said. "Make sure he's dead, Jimmy." "Fuck's sake, doll he's gone," replied Mason, taking the cigarette from her long fingers, taking a drag. "He's dead as Dillinger." "Make sure," she said. "Shoot him in the head." Mason got the thirty-eight, levelled it at my body, shielded his face with his other hand and shot me in the forehead. "Now come over here," ordered Dolores, opening her long legs. "And fuck me again." He did. I should have been dead. I should have been. But I wasn't. "Remarkable. Quite remarkable," said the doctor at the foot of my hospital bed. "Nothing short of a miracle, Mister Bumfelt. By any stretch of the imagination you should be very dead." "So why aren't I?" I managed to say, my voice a, weak rasp. "One shot collapsed your right lung. We managed to save it but you won't be running for some time and you're always going to have a degree of breathlessness," said the doctor. "The second to your chest missed your heart by less than half an inch. . On any fcking land I wish! No questions asked! Do - you - fcking - understand?!”The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s enormous, angry bull ... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs... “Your badge, officer, show him your f*cking BADGE!!”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from TLSBThe Lone ranger rode up to a ranch house and the rancher exclaimed, “A masked man! You must be an outlaw!” “No Sir,” replied the Lone Ranger, I only wear this mask because of the coronavirus pandemic.”✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to NipSC4328 for this one:Don’t eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what!!A little boy and a little girl attended the same.
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