The butterflies of fear in my belly made me more susceptible to my buzz and by the time I got settled in a booth I was ready for anything. I'd open the door occasionally and let some guy in, and we'd do, whatever. One time I eased my door open just a crack to see who was trying to get in, and when I saw a black hand I shut the door quickly. All the guys cruising around my booth were laughing. After that I couldn't open my door again so I got myself off and scuttled out of there embarrassed as hell. It wasn't that I was racist, I just didn't think there was any way I could anatomically do anything with their great big dicks! I thought there was noway they would ever fit.One time I opened my door and a good looking white dude told me he would do anything I wanted. I let him in and after we'd sucked eachother and played with eachothers asses in the booth, we split back to my apartment and fucked and sucked and did poppers for like 4 hours. That was probably the only good gay sex I'd. You must know why I did this, if you would think about it." Johnny, I see you as the same person you were last night, but you're not. Let me think this through. I have a million questions."At least this woman didn't go ballistic on me. I worried she would reject me outright. That was the fear I had and why I was so reticent about my financial situation. I had lived with her for five months. She wasn't a greedy person and my millions would mean little to her. More of a detriment for our life to continue together, rather than an asset.When it was time, I went in and roused Cindy, telling her to get up for breakfast and school. I don't know when it started, but now Cindy was always raising her arms for a hug and a kiss on the cheek when she first got out of bed. Just another matter of warmth and closeness I feared I was going to lose."Mom, you're still home. Can I stay home today with you?" No, not today. Johnny and I have some things to talk about. We'll see you this afternoon." When I.
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