What would I think of myself? Every time before I had looked down but never looked at myself full on. I opened my eyes and looked. I did look amazing but was racked with guilt and the thought that if anyone knew what I was doing I would be shunned, an outcast. I loved the look and got so turned on I had to kneel down and play with myself, watching all the time. It worked, and it was truly wonderful. Over the next twenty years I did it increasingly until one day I found myself alone and divorced. The idea came to me that since I still loved dressing and wanted to do it more that maybe I should try going a bit further. I went on the net and found some places where I could get underwear and makeup and stuff without the embarrassment of having to go into a shop and explain that I was getting something for my girlfriend. It made it easier, and I could indulge myself. Eventually I had the whole lot. I had lingerie, high heeled shoes, make up, perfume, wigs, jewelry and a selection of. Maybe because girls liked “bad boys” and weirdos.All of us had sex at young ages, but the girls we fucked weren’t cheerleaders, but were also fags, girl fags, girl versions of fags, girl weirdos and potheads. Girls with limps. Girls with big tits but small asses. Girls with small tits and big asses. Girls with speech impediments. Girls who wrote poetry and cut themselves.Almost every girl we knew had been raped by the jocks. The jocks were always raping people, sexually harassing girls. One girl with big tits, at her old school, had a running back after her, constantly cornering her, ordering her to show him her tits and finally the running back tried to tear off her shirt in the hallway.And he got away with it too, because he and his parents complained of racism and because he could play football... The majority of the jocks’ sexual attacks happened at parties, usually to a girl drunk on a sofa, getting raped and Bill Cosby shit.In retrospect, the jocks probably deserved some.
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