"I slipped into the house quietly and in my room slowly undressed,reviewing each moment of the evening. I had done something I neverthought I would do. I had not planned it of course, I got caught up inthe excitement of it all, but now that it was done, I couldn't take itback. As the nightgown slipped over my head and I got into bed, Irealized that I didn't feel at all guilty. Girls sometimes do thingsfor their men, which is what I had done. Ken had not pressed the issueat all, it was all me. In a raging frenzy of lust I had eagerly takenhim to me and made him happy. I had...not sex with Ken,but...something! I lay there remembering the feel of it, the smoothskin so like my own but different, his kisses and his touch. Everynerve ending was tingling with excitement, even now. I drifted tosleep, smiling I'm sure.When I appeared in the morning I know that I looked like hell. Pantiesand shorts, a top without a bra, no makeup and my hair still a mess."Have a nice time last night Janet?". Sort of. The scene in the operating room wasn't when the out-of-body experience started. There was that moment of panic when you were driving to work and you felt something trying to invade your consciousness. It was that feeling of a dark, heavy presence pushing your consciousness down into a deep recess of your soul that made you want to jump out of your skin, slam your foot on the accelerator, and crash into the bus that was turning into the intersection.Then there was the surreal experience of watching yourself bleed to death as the paramedics and fire fighters tried to extract your mangled body from the crushed wreckage of your car. You didn't understand how you could stay so calm and freak out at the same time. You reasoned that you were in a state of shock and imaging the whole situation. It helped to pretend, but you'll never forget seeing the torn flesh, the broken bones, the blood.And then there was the bizarre journey to the hospital, sitting in the back of the ambulance on.
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