And me, not having been able to say to him again, how much I loved and I respected him.Once on land, in a daze, I was somehow able to find my car in the parking lot and drive off. I drove around aimlessly for a while and then headed home. For the next several hours I paced back and forth trying to make sense out of what just happened; not forgiving me for the little time I had been with my father.The emotional pain of the unjust death became a physical pain as well. I couldn't forget all the years of what I thought were love and devotion for each other, now I knew I was wrong. He had devotion and love for me. I had loved him but had not been devoted to himThe phone had been ringing constantly since I returned to the house. The first time I let the answering machine pick up and heard a voice I didn't recognize at first, a voice asking me that I return the call so we could talk. Then like a distant memory, surfaced in my mind's a voice asking me to put sunscreen on her front, it was,. “I don’t sell to kids,” the biker tells me and I straighten up. “Not a kid, need a piece,” I keep it short, short is good. “You need to go back to school,” he informs me as the other customer passes me. “I need something to protect myself,” I counter then remember the big seller,” I have cash.” “Go to a store then kid, let them get you a permit and buy one yourself legally,” he informs me and I’m really confused as to why this guy won’t sell to me. I leave, he’s not budging and walk back to my car confused and now I think I need to find a different person for an illegal gun purchase. I get about a block away when a car pulls up and a very angry female detective I’m familiar with rolls her window down. “Get in the car Mr. Donnelly,” she orders and now I’m confused. “Why, I didn’t do anything,” I ask and she glares at me. “You just attempted to buy an illegal firearm, either you come with me or I take you in,” she informs me and now I’m fucked. I move around her car and get in the.
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