She clasped her seat belt, removed a metal canister and her makeup mirror. ‘Don’t you fucking dare!’ Montana slapped her hands causing a white cloud to billow throughout the car, obscuring her view of the road for the slightest second. ‘It’s snowing!’ She said in a voice devoid of mirth. That was all that she had left. ‘$1000 down the drain,’ she said. They drove in silence until they reached Allen Caravan’s house. It was small, nearing dilapidation, sat back far from the road. Montana slid out of the car, stalked around to the passenger side of the car and ripped Mira from its interior. To her surprise her legs wouldn’t support her, it was as if all of her joints had gone loose. ‘You are a fucking psychopath, Mira,’ Montana said as he dragged her across the large expanse of crabgrass to Allen’s front stoop. She lulled nearly unconscious on the cement slab while Montana knocked loud and police-like on Allen’s door. ‘Who is it?’ Allen’s voice, muffled. ‘It’s Monty and Mira, some shit. Or at least not originally."Julia waited for her to continue."I have this high school buddy who's a real, total nerd. You won't believe this, but he figured out that men actually encode their mental state in their semen, like in the prostate gland." Oh!" Julia smiled."Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. But what's more, he found a drug that lets the cervix decode it!"Julia laughed out loud. "That sounds like a great pick-up line for a nerd!" I know, I know, that's what I thought at first. He offered to help me with my chemistry. But it actually works." Did you sleep with him and then knew more chemistry?" No, I didn't sleep with him, but I found out he'd done it with someone else and she got way better at it." You ever hear of the placebo effect?" Yeah, I have. I know -- I told you it's going to sound crazy. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. But it's not just some general improvement in the ability to learn. You can get specific facts about the guy's life. I took some.
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