We talked about music and cars until almost 9 o'clock and then all the parents went inside to play cards.We made our way down to the cabana by the pool where Beth had stashed two bottles of wine. We peeled off our t-shirts and cutoffs, and then lazily hung to the side of pool until both bottles of wine were gone. My whole body was numb again when we got out to go pee. We took turns using the bathroom and then Beth switched on the hot tub bubbles and lights, and dimmed all the other lights around the pool. Jill was in need of a smoke by now, and stood behind the cabana to sneak one in while me and Beth climbed into the swirling bubbles. I was really in heaven in all that warm water, my eyes were heavy from the wine but my body felt weightless.That's when the Jaws theme should have played to warn me of the attack. As soon as Beth climbed in the hot tub, she kneeled down in front of me. She had a hungry look and lunged for me and grabbed my boobs, forcing her tongue into my mouth. It. How could you knowthat? How did that show up? Obviously, it's hard for me, a woman, tosee how a young boy could feel the same way I did when I was a girl.You weren't a girl after all! How could you know what being a girl feltlike?" But that's exactly it. No, I wasn't in a girl's body, but stretch yourimagination and try and believe it is possible to have a girl's mindand soul in a boy's body. That's how I felt. How did it show up? Iwasn't interested in any of the things that interested other boys. Iwasn't into sports, cars, rough and tumble games, anything like that.No, I wasn't in a girl's body, so maybe your right to have doubts thatI could ever experience things in the same way that a genetically borngirl could, but I personally believe , one hundred per cent, I did feelthe same way, want the same things, as girls of my age. I just didn'thave the body to go with how I felt. I longed desperately, to be ableto wear the pretty clothes that they got to wear, especially the.
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