But there was something I didn't understand. "I'm sure I should be pleased for you. But where does that leave me?"She hesitated, clearly weighing up how to continue. Then she put down her glass, looked me in the eyes and said, "My dear, what I'm suggesting is that something could be arranged." How do you mean?" We are not short of obliging males." But how?" I don't know - I haven't really thought about it. But the house is here, I could make myself scarce." Oh no, I couldn't." Don't say no too quickly. Think about it. You may change your mind."Was this simply prescient Teresa again? It was almost as though she knew me better than I knew myself. Because just before the end of my visit , I found the courage to articulate a fantasy that had formed in my mind and wouldn't go away. "Remember our conversation about Helping Hands?" Have you changed your mind?" Clever, direct Teresa again."Not exactly. But I've been think about your offer - making your self scarce." That still goes." But .... Likewise, my emotional healing followed a similar path.A few weeks after my thrashing, I began to look at my experience in a slightly modified light. Whereas at first it had seemed so very stupid to willingly submit to that sort of treatment, I now took the view that I indeed had to try everything at least once, and that having submitted to such a beating, I could now feel a pride that I had actually gone through with it.It was comforting too, that my husband hadn't lost any respect or regard for me as I had at first feared. In fact his view of me had taken quite the other direction and whenever we spoke of my treatment at Gary's hands, he was full of admiration and pride in me as his wife.Because of this admiration, I eventually suggested to my Rob that he might like to whip me. His reaction was rather surprising to me in that he shunned the idea and told me that he could never hurt me.We quite openly discussed our feelings and, it transpired that while my husband had an abhorence of.
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