I've filed all the papers to change my name.I'm starting my life back up." That's all very good. But the biological situation versus the mentalone; do you still feel the conflict?" A little. I mean, I don't feel totally girly, but having the bra onall the time is a pretty good reminder. And the snugness of theunderwear. I don't wear the make-up. Tried it, didn't like it." That's fairly superficial. How do you feel about yourself?" I feel... well, right now, I might just say that my gender hasabsolutely nothing to do with who I am. I'm not a man, I'm not really awoman. I feel good, though. I'm letting my hair grow out." Again, superficial. How do you feel about those around you treatingyou like a woman?" Well, there's Aaron." The young man who brought you in, yes, I remember." When I first moved in with him, he was doing stuff like opening doorsfor me, but I told him not to, so he didn't. And as the days went on wegot on like two old buddies just hangin' out." So you're just friends. She looked more distressed than he’d been ready for.“I didn’t want to beg,” she said. “But: Please. Just this once. If you ever cared about me?” Chann had never heard her say “please.” For a second he felt a twinge of something he thought he‘d forgotten, an old, savage feeling, deep down inside…but it passed. “Those were good times while they lasted," he said, “but those nights are behind us. I’ve got a new life, and I want to keep it. You should think about doing the same. The old ways are over. We’ve got to change if we want to survive.”“I see," Anne said. Her voice was cold. She put her shawl back on. “When you say things like that, you might as well kill me yourself, but it‘s your decision. I guess I‘m not surprised. But I had hoped.” She paused. “Elizabeth is dead. I don’t expect you to care, but you should know. She still talked about you sometimes.”Chann felt a jolt of shock. Deep down, he’d known it would happen sooner or later: there was no place in the modern world for.
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