"He looked closely at me as he said it, and I realized what he meant. Kay felt me start to shake, and hugged me closer as it finally hit me. Today I killed a man. The fact that he had been trying to kill me was suddenly not as much an issue as the fact that I had killed a man. Taken a life. Deprived a family of someone they in their own way, had loved.I never heard them come in, but Jake and Renee were suddenly there, both alarmed, hugging Laurel, and saying that they'd heard the news, figured it must have been us, and came right over. I heard Laurel say something to Jake, and then he was there beside my chair, with his hand on my shoulder, steadying me. "Just hold on to what you got, brother, this'll pass." I looked up at him, wondering what he knew about it, and he said, "Been there, done that. And it don't get easier just because you're in a war. Gotta remember that. Had a newbie in the sandbox try to carry a load of guilt after he'd killed a man in a firefight. Got too heavy for. ’ He turned to Kim and Rose. ‘I have asked him to organize a session with an expert in artificial insemination. He will brief you on how it is done and what we will have to do back here before he comes over and inseminates our cows.’ Lelani laughed, ‘If they are going to be made pregnant artificially, why do we need the bull?’ John smiled back, ‘there will always be a place for us males. We need the bull because we cannot be sure everyone will be successful. Our two bulls will pick up any that miss.’ He looked at Lelani as she whispered, ‘lucky cows.’ He winked, ‘Lucky bull.’ Rose was worried. She had never traveled overseas before. ‘My Trip to Ho Chi Minh City was the only time I have been away from my family,’ she told him as they sat watching the moonrise over the reservoir. ‘I don’t want to leave my family. She looked at him tenderly, ‘Let me stay home. I will go to Australia with you when you go there again. I feel safe with you.’ John could see she was distressed. She had been.
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