“Just work on the parts I marked on your last where you had trouble at.”Jasmine smiles thinly and says, “Thank you, Mr. Thomas.” She then turns around without another word and heads toward the door.Mr. Thomas wants to drop to his knees, right then and there, and beg her to stop. But he restrains himself. What the fuck am I thinking? I can’t lust over a high school kid. I shouldn’t have even done what I did with her. He shakes his head and drops it down to look at the papers on his desk.Then suddenly, Jasmine spins around and asks, “Can I get some extra credit to help with the paper beforehand?”The man’s head shoots up, his stomach drops and he has to work hard to suppress the smile that want to form on his face. “I think we can work on that,” he says, knowing full well that that was a stupid answer.“Oh good,” she says, brimming with happiness. “Can you come over tonight? My parents won’t be home until Monday and my brother is staying over at my aunt’s.”Mr. Thomas remains silent for. I felt it like a powerful wind.My own followed, silent. It was as if I had cum in my mind, rather than my body.I had fallen asleep. When I woke up I thought about that dream. I resolved to find a therapist. I wasn’t mad enough to think this was normal. I got out of bed and took off my nightdress, wet like the others, and threw it, disgusted with myself, into the laundry basket. I reached behind myself and, oh God, there was a hint of lubricant between my buttocks. I showered, vigorously washing my arse and, once dried, dressed in my dull librarian’s uniform. Making myself tea, my eye was drawn once again to the card that had accompanied the flowers. I picked it up and opened it. No Clemency. So, I decided, hallucinations. I sat with my tea and a note pad and wrote down everything. Writing things down had been therapeutic all through my confused adolescence. I used to write about being different from other girls at school; about the way a woman made me feel when I looked at her; how.
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