The way I am laying he gives me a strange look. "I had an itch." My ankles are still bound with the rope. He sits on the edge of the bed. "Did you lock the door after you came in?" I ask trying to buy myself some time. "Yes I believe I did." He says. "Go check for me please." I use my whining voice. "I would sleep better it I knew that it was locked for sure." He smiles kisses me on the lips and goes out of the room. I rush and get the ropes off my ankles. By the time he is back I have the rope hidden under the bed. Nick slips in next to me. I reach over and touch his manhood. He takes a deep breath and I feel him getting hard. He pulls me close and holds me. We drift off to sleep that way.No alarm this morning, I lay there next to Nick watching him sleep. I lean over and give him a kiss. The sun is starting to break over the neighbor's roof. Nick is lying on his back. The covers are pulled down and I can see his chest. I run my fingers through the hair on his chest. I try not to. I’ve always wanted to see a guy suck dick.’ And he’ll do it, the asshole. Anything for his sweet little Ai.’ And they drank… in silence, as Mei’s unheeded tears wet small, powdery, crushed gray stone. ‘I gave you my permission.’ ‘Fuck your permission!’ Silence. A horrible silence that accused her. Silence that called her whore. Silence that forced her to hear the voice within that whispered analogous recriminations: ‘slut’, ‘selfish bitch’, ‘cunt’. It opened a hollow place inside her and allowed the self-loathing of the past ooze up from a cold darkness. She could feel Philip’s anger grow but she was indifferent. His rage no longer held hope for her. ‘My mother had a cat…’ Ai said. ‘Fuck your mothers cat, you prostitute bitch.’ ‘… I let it out once because it seemed to want out. I was eleven and we had rule that the cat was never to be let out of the house.’ Mei watched her slowly raise the bottle, saw, from the corner of her eye as the drip of condensed water fell toward her.
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