My mouth felt pasty, and my eyes were glued shut. My body was sweat-soaked, and my head was throbbing."You tell me," said Diana, "you were tossing and turning and muttering in your sleep. Nightmare?"The fog in my mind dissipated, and the reality that my wife would arrive tomorrow AND that I had not told Diana I was still married hit me like a ton of bricks. I started shivering and felt like throwing up."Who is Zoe?" Diana asked.My stomach heaved, and only by the grace of God did I reach the toilet in time. Diana had the grace to let me be till I had finished. She entered the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth."That bad? Well, are you going to tell me about it?I sat on the porcelain throne and pondered what to say for a few moments. I was terrified that what I would tell Diana would change how she felt about me and drive her away from me. Finally, I summoned the little courage I had and explained that Zoe, my wife, would be arriving with the next group of guests tomorrow. All I had to do was go. The first time took abit of time, as I had to learn how to make myself go. This functionbecame easier each time I did it.I won't bore you with my time in the hospital. I stayed for two weeksbefore they let me go home. I won't think of Jell-O in the same way everagain. I also had another hormone implant before I left.There were instructions given to me that I had to follow religiously.One I couldn't run for another two weeks and when I started again I hadto take it easy.No soccer for a month after I got home to be sure everything was healedand not likely to tear with the exertion.Finally I had to dilate. When I was shown what to do in the hospital Ihad never felt so vulnerable and embarrassed in my life. My nurseapologized for making me uncomfortable but it had to be done or I wouldclose up which would be a very bad thing.Lastly I was shown the care and maintenance of my new part. I had tokeep it clean because infection was now a very real threat. I foundbeing.
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