Did she knowanything for sure? Had Amy confessed anything to her? "Well, what can I say? Find out, man! That's where the funbegins." He grinned at me, then turned abruptly and left the room. I heard his feet on the steps returning to whatever game he waswatching on the TV in the cellar. And again I found I'd emptied a glass of straight bourbon withoutnoticing -- I was again holding only empty ice cubes. My stomachwas aglow, though I could still focus my eyes. Just about. Iturned and said desperately, "Jessica, how can I find out?" ThenI tried to pull myself together and failed. I slouched backagainst the cushions and tried to listen to her. "I have to know!" I was near sobbing.She leaned forward, eyes fixed on mine, speaking deliberately. "You really want to know? No matter what the cost?" Yes! At any cost! I can't stand not knowing!" This could take some time. If it were obvious, you'd alreadyknow. But women are discreet when they have extramarital affairs-- we have. My mind was a blur; as naïve as it sounds, it simply didn't occur to me what the consequences of uncomplicated and unsafe sex would be. I had taken advantage of the young lady that night and she was living with the consequences. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a father, but Eva's eyes were filled with the weight of expectation bearing down upon her, and were laced with fear. I had no right to be scared, she was the one who was set to become a teenage mother."I'm staying on a friend's sofa but I have to leave soon. Her parents don't like it." She passed me an ultrasound picture and I looked at it without saying a word. "I've gone past twelve weeks." She looked across the table, willing me to say something. "I so hoped it wasn't, but it was." I'm ... I'm so sorry," I muttered, but felt ridiculous for saying so. Her eyes watered further and she asked to go to the toilet; I pointed her towards an oak-panelled door in the corner of the room and watched guiltily as she made her way over to.
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