She wanted the hurt that felt so good. Mr. Wise turned her around, arms above her head while Mr.Tall pushed her down her face inches away from Mr. Wise’s hard and thick erection. He lifted her skirt over her back, pulling her panties around her ankles, exposing her and binding her ankles. He held up her arms, as she pushed against them, wanting to feel the resistance, Mr. Tall spanked her, tortuously soft. She meowed, hoping her pleasure was clear enough to deserve more. Again, he slapped her ass, a little harder this time. The room started to feel warm, her breathing more rapid. How far away was Mr. Wise’s erection? Could she get to it in this position? As she pondered how to please him, a noise distracted her, his belt buckle. “Yes!” She cried out. Tall replied, “You haven’t earned it yet." A million thoughts raced through her mind. How could she earn this delight? Mr. Wise took the belt and wrapped it around her wrists, tight, in a way she knew would leave a mark. She rotated her. This morning, as always, I visualized being in there, visualized the peace that was so palpable in that place that it was nearly visible, and as I listened to it I slowly stretched out my arms and legs as I focused on taking deep, cleansing, calming breaths.The second song is another hymn I grew up with, called “I Am the Bread of Life.” It was my maternal grandmother’s favorite hymn. When I left home to go out to Colorado for school, my father was so angry that he refused to speak to me for a week before I left, and continued not speaking with me for two months after I got there. My mother spent the entire 90-minute drive to the train station haranguing me about what a horrible decision I was making.My grandmother ... my 80-year-old grandmother living on Social Security in Section 8 housing ... offered to cosign five figures worth of student loans. She had always believed in me, no matter what I had in mind to do. She always supported me and encouraged me – and, as always, I was.
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