I had a selfish streak. Not intentional, but I did tend to act first and think later, and now that was going to result in so much unhappiness for at least four people that I couldn’t bear it. I had to do something. What? What could do? I say ‘no’ to Sam and her heart is broken and her life ruined. I say ‘yes’ to Sam and Philip and Penny’s hearts are broken. I run away and all three of them are devastated. At the end of the day, my heart is broken what ever I do. Whichever decision I make now, I lose something. My self respect is already gone. It would be better all round if I were dead! Then I couldn’t hurt anyone else. Suddenly, my cup shattered in my hands! As I was churning everything over and over I had been squeezing it tighter and tighter until the pressure on it got so great that it broke. The coffee in it had gone cool so it didn’t burn me but it made me jump and brought me back to my senses. A waitress came rushing over. “Are you okay?” she enquired rather nervously,. I won’t touch him. Cocksucker.”I knew Vanessa had mixed feelings. It was probably a net good thing that Sasha had been sold. Been taken from Russia before it became Ukraine. American citizenship. But ... shit. Pedophiles.Artie looked at the remaining pies in the display case. Two lemon, two pecan, one peach. We both looked away.Lina served us breakfast in our loft that rainy Saturday morning. Arepo con Quisito. Plus Walker’s home fries, tiny cubes so he can easily crisp them up.And, at 7 AM, Beck’s Dark in glass steins straight from the freezer.Colombia, United States, Germany.Lina smiled at Vanessa, at me, at Walker. Finally at Pilar.She looked back to Vanessa and me, “Pilar and I swam the Rio Grande from Reymosa at three in the morning. Pitch black, no moon. We had $456 left from our $6,200. Nothing else, just the clothes on our back. But we were in America. That was the main thing, we were in America.”Walker was looking down at his plate, fully concentrating on Lina’s tale. Pilar.
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