”Such a gifted speaker, our Boris. I’d met him once. It’s like someone taught a haystack to speak Latin.A uniformed lady walked up to the podium, nodded to Boris and began to read a prepared statement after she had braved the first wave of bright flashes from the photographers.“Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, here is a summary of the events of Friday, the 11th of June 2015. At around half past five several traffic incidents we now believe to be orchestrated, blocked traffic on and around Edgware Road and Paddington Station. This was done to drive commuters to the Underground and also to delay the response time of emergency services. The ... ahem, sorry, the attack was initiated at six fifteen, when a suicide bomber now identified as Muhammad Fakhoury, a Saudi national aged twenty-six, entered the main hall of Paddington Underground Station with the intention of detonating a belt with explosives. He was observed by a London Underground Lines employee, the 32 year old Mr. Rajesh Areef.. . giving you a handjob?” “WHAT?!” “Well, if you can last more than a half-hour, then it shouldn’t be a problem.” She pretended to make a naive expression of a confused c***d. “Right?” “Listen, I don’t care what anyone think. I’m very good at sex. I can last all night keeping a pace without an orgasm and I’m sure a handjob or any other sex tricks isn’t going to make me have a ‘premature ejaculation’ in less than a half an hour.” Then the magic ego-tempting question: “Do you want to bet?” He looked at her for what seemed to be a long time before shaking his head. “I . . . I don’t understand.” “Sure you do, Daddy-o.” She placed a hand on his leg and leaned closer, both of her melon-sized jugs hanging loose under her gown. “The bet is that I can make you ejaculate in less than half an hour. And I think I can, no doubt.” This remark infuriated him. He grabbed the remote, turned off the T.V., and scolded her with a defiant, bothered look. “No, you can’t. No matter what you’d do, no matter.
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