Then he climbed up on top of me and gave me a huge kiss. “It's OK sis, I liked it,” Ray replied. “Can I have another kiss before we go to sleep?” I asked. “No,” Ray replied. Then I kissed him. “I said 'no',” Ray said. “And your point is?” I asked. Then he kissed me. “Where have you been all my life?” Ray asked. “In my room waiting for you, but we're done waiting,” I replied. We kissed again and went to sleep. We were both very happy, maybe we were moving a little fast, but if we regretted it later, we could still slow a bit. We both slept in the same bed for the very first time, that was an experience. I mean I only slept with someone a handful of times before, but of course sleeping with him was a lot better than sleeping with anyone else. When I woke up the next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. I thought that was weird, so I just put on my bra and underwear and went to find my lover. “Ray?” I asked. “In the kitchen,” Ray replied in the distance. I walked to the kitchen and when. I picked up my phone, not really looking at who it was and to my surprise it was my father. Immediately I felt humiliated. He was just ringing to see how I was and ask if I was going to visit him and my mother. My humiliation came crashing down on me. I wasn't born to serve another man's penis. How pathetic I had become. I made my excuses as I couldn't bear to talk to my father knowing what I had done. When he got off the phone I started crying. This had to stop.The next two hours were a frenzy of trying to erase what my pathetic life had become. I deleted all my porn which I had so lovingly curated. I felt ashamed and disgusted of myself, maybe if I really tried I could satisfy Sarah and become a man again? Maybe if I told her how sorry I was she would accept me back and we could try to live a normal life?I spent the rest of the day hating myself and regretting what I had done.The next day I woke up determined to re-establish my previous life. I called and left a message on Sarah's.
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