I kept it for years.And so there was a part of me that was secret and something I had to hide. I explored that in private moments alone. There were some woods that I had to pass on the way to and from school every day. Woods that were sufficiently thickly vegetated that once inside the safety of that greenery it was almost impossible to see anyone. For that reason the other boys gave the woods a wide margin as 'perverts' could be hiding there waiting for an unsuspecting boy but I knew better. All the 'perverts' were at the bus station or the train station where I had even been approached on a few occasions. I had no interest in those men as I had decided a solitary approach was best and so I went into the woods on many occasions. I went there to be alone and I went there to display my secret and my nude body to the trees and the flowers and the grasses.There was one place I had discovered about a hundred yards in that was a really good spot for contemplation. When I stopped to. Or longer—I don't know—things clearly didn't work out between us—not too surprising considering why I decided to go out with her in the first place. She was cool, but it wasn't long before I started getting really bored with the sex we were having. It was like pussy had absolutely no fascination or appeal to me, whatsoever, and even more f'ed up was that I also started having gay wet dreams. Sometimes sleeping right next to her after we had fucked.“It obviously didn't last too long, and I'll never forget the night she broke up with me over the phone: I wasn't bothered in the slightest, and really, she just beat me to the punch. The first thing I did after hanging up was to go online and find some gay porn. I had realized while I was with her just how much I was repressing things, and I simply didn't care anymore—I just wanted to see some hot man on man sex.“I swear, watching guys fuck again was like slipping into a warm bath. It was a relief, like I felt normal again. I concluded that.
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