After a couple of weeks of having Abe practically living with us I took Tim aside and asked him if Abe could move in. I did feel guilty as I helped him move his belongings into the spare bedroom but I had reassured him that I loved him. That night was also the night, I am certain, that I conceived. As Abe and I slipped under the covers I realised that this bed was now mine and Abe’s bed. It was no longer mine and Tim’s bed. It felt so different. When Abe came inside me that night I suddenly felt different. There was a strange tingling feeling deep inside. I knew that I was pregnant. When my period didn’t appear three weeks later I bought a testing kit and it confirmed that I was pregnant. Telling Tim that I wanted to divorce him and marry Abe was very hard for me. I loved Tim and still do but for practicality it had to be done. I just couldn’t go around with a white husband and a coloured baby. Tim was quite willing to but I wasn’t and I also had to think about the child in the. He’d seen in the paper how they were offering free land again. Patty who could read had told him what the paper said. In his mind he was picturing a ranch, a few cattle, a woman in a flowing cotton print dress, a running child. It was no good, it was all just a dream. The image faded and even though he grasped to hold on to it, the picture dissolved like dissipating cigar smoke. John’s big brown eyes looked rock steady and Dusty wondered if he knew it was his last night. “Yes I was wondering if Miss Jessie might like to have a visitor?” Dusty grunted like he was making a bowel movement. He spit a big wad of chewing tobacco phlegm into the dented brass spittoon by John’s feet. “Well you know young Miss Hazel is a bit too skinny and gangly to get many visitors so I’m pretty darn sure she’d welcome a handsome visitor like you. She’s over with the preacher right now done getting her soul saved. She’ll be back in a while. Another drink?” John nodded affirmatively. “Don’t worry I’ve got a.
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