“No ... I wasn’t going to stay on the job any longer anyway. I love the idea of being a police officer. Helping good people. Sorting out bad people. But that’s not what it’s like. People hate you just because you wear a uniform and try to help them. It’s not what I thought it would be.”“What did you think it would be?” Charley asks.“Well – it was never going to be what I hoped it would be ... My secret fantasy when I was dreaming of being a police-woman, was that I would be working undercover ... Trying to break up prostitution rings and underground porn films ... And having to have sex to prove I was the real thing ... And of course I used to fantasize about having to break a bestiality ring ... Having to go to those parties that they talked about in the papers sometimes ... Having to have sex with the dogs to prove I was for real...” She pauses, breathing heavy, thinking about her fantasy. Charley seems to be a little distracted to, looking into Cara’s eyes as she talks, losing. ’ I get up off the bed and slowly walk to the fireplace. Thankfully there is a small fire going because all of a sudden I am very cold. After contemplating the small flames flickering against the wood, I turn back toward the bed. ‘William, I cannot say that I enjoyed that, but I understand that I cannot say no to you. What you tell me I must do. Even if I do not like it, I must do it.’ Thoughtfully, William looks at me. ‘Maranda, how much do you mean what you just said?’ I can see that he has something in his mind and I tell him to please tell me what it is. ‘Maranda, tonight I was going to do something to you, but considering what I just did, I am thinking that we should postpone it. I just do not think it would be wise.’ ‘William, what were you going to do?’ ‘Maranda, I was going to do something tonight that would have felt very wrong to you. It may even hurt you. Therefore, upon thinking it over again, I will hold off on that for now.’ When I inquire as to what it was that he was.
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