He had never known a rape victim. He wanted to say the right things to her, but didn’t know what they were. He didn’t want to say the wrong things, either, and he struggled to figure out what they were. After a short time, Marge appeared at the door of the waiting room. ‘She wants to see you,’ she said, and took a seat in one of the chairs. Paul was confused. ‘She wants to see you alone,’ Marge clarified. Paul obediently made his way to Audrey’s room. Audrey wasn’t in bed. She sat in a reclining chair next to the bed, dressed in her hospital gown and covered by a robe. She had on sock slippers that the hospital had provided. She wore no expression on her face. The upper regions of it were black and blue, and puffy with swelling. ‘I’m surprised to see you out of bed,’ Paul said as he walked in. Audrey didn’t answer, but her eyes followed him as he walked across the room. There was a small chair next to hers. Paul sat down in it. ‘That must be a good sign.’ Paul pressed ahead, eager. But I didn't want anyone to know, for ourprotection. But it had happened in secret. I was relieved. I picturedTam. I pictured Heidi. I pictured me in a fucking wedding dress for allof a nanosecond.Heidi made this really bizarre, exasperated sound, and wiped her mouth.What she said next only added to the perfection of the moment. She'dsaid it so many times before, but this time it came across as completelyhonest and without bitterness. I could hear that. And because it wasfrom the heart, this time it meant the world to me.She said, "God, I hate you so fucking much, Amy. I hate everything aboutyou." The feeling's mutual," I told her. "Ever since I got to high school,you've been making my life complete hell." What do you think you've been doing to mine? Do you know what it feelslike to have all these stupid feelings eating away inside you, and not tobe able to tell anyone?" Uh... yeah." Fuck you. You do not. You do whatever you want, whenever you want. Andpeople just say, 'Oh,.
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