Twenty female cooking students between the ages of 18 and 25 of all different body types and hair colours, and all stark naked. They weren't even wearing aprons any more, and neither was Nigella. This was a dream. None of us were going to get burned by hot fat. They were all doing a great job of preparing a gourmet meal, but I was Gordon Ramsay, and this was Kitchen Nightmares , so I just pretended they were incompetent, because it was more fun that way. "You've got to be fuckin' kidding me!" I cried. "You call that chopping parsley!" The cute pink-cheeked little butter ball was actually doing an awesome job, but I wanted to tell her off and spank her big bottom. And that is just what I did. They all knew I was just pretending. And they were determined to have fun at my expense as well. "Now to slice up some salami for the pizza!" cried a skinny freckly redhead, grabbing my cock in one hand and a huge butcher knife in the other. "Hey!" cried Nigella, rescuing me. "This is a. I listened while my parents died in the front of the car. Think that leaves you with a little PTSD? I learned to cope. I went to live with an aunt, saw a shrink who helped me get myself together, and eventually moved back to Austin when I turned eighteen. I like the city.But I came to love the lunatic. He was paranoid. He had a man living in his head, that gave him messages. Messages about future events. He met an awesome person who lived in the internet. She is an abiological person, a nonhuman person, and, nevertheless, a very, very good person. The lunatic had blackouts, and periods when he mentally 'went away' and hallucinated about past events. I do that, too ... well, I did do that, too ... before. I don't, anymore, now that I have Zeus to take care of. He's my hero.Now I live in a Hummer, most of the time. I drive around the country with Don Quixote, tilting at windmills. They are bad windmills, and we beat them, too, skewering them with our lance that fires bullets. I have a.
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