" I worked by drunken smile into a drunken leer and turned to see that I was talking to a most beautiful woman. I was temporarily stunned and so uncharacteristically held her gaze far longer then usual (for me at least). Her eyebrows rose a millimeter then relaxed."You seem a bit drunk." Had I been sober I would have been apologizing profusely at this point. Of course, had I been sober I would have never made the comment in the first place. I wasn't sober, I was drunk and so like a drunken fool I stayed the course."Well that's not really a problem. Unlike other parts of the male anatomy, good drink simply loosens the tongue allowing increased performance not to mention the inability to monitor the passage of time." That got a laugh from her as well as a shake of her head."You are the confident one aren't you? Or are you maybe just a little cocky." Alas and most unfortunately a lack it all too true. For in my case through absolutely no fault of my own my cockiness comes with a small. I found if i stuck my finger in them first and they weren't solid. I considdered them soft .Beer vodka and gin later i found that i was very relaxed over a table and had to be taken home.The groom terrifed of getting into trouble dumped me in the spare bed in his mothers house. Though i have no memory of getting there or throwing up all over myself.When i came to i found that i was lying on a well carpeted floor. Naked and with a woman in curlers wearing a pink satin housecoat and holding a cup of tea staring at me .Stil half cut i wobbled to my feet and tried to think of something to say . So i introduced myself and extended my hand . The woman seemed quite entertained by his and placed the cup of tea on the bedside cabinet and instead of shaking my hand shook my erection which i hadn't been aware of having.Smugly she pushed me gently back onto the bed. "Now that you have introduced your self i think i better deal with this first". She said as she gently held my hardon. I didn't.
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