I do not discourage his touch.In my room I sit at my dressing table inspecting the woman reflected in the mirror. She is a beautiful woman, even though middle age has come upon her against my wishes. But beauty can be both a curse and a treasure, as I have seen again and again. When my mother's drunken boyfriend slipped into my bed in the middle of the night to rape the beautiful, twelve-year-old version of me, it was a curse. When Jason first set eyes upon me and could not believe that I smiled in return (he knew he was already showing the pattern baldness and pot belly that he would grow into), that was a treasure.I know Tony has been confused about our relationship for many years. I could feel his eyes upon me most days, feel it like a physical touch. I ignored him, of course - not because he was my son, but because I had agreed with Jason that he would be the only man in my life. I never regretted it.As Tony graduated from high school and went to university, I started to receive. Two white horses were racing toward the manor, their riders calling to each other merrily as they raced. The lead horse’s rider was tall and fair, with hair as golden as her own, her elder brother, Robert. The second rider was shorter and broadly built, dark-complected. Robert’s companion Enrique. Born only days apart, the two had been inseparable since childhood. They had only a week ago recently returned from a year’s visit to Jamaica and other of the islands. It was Lord de Granville’s hope that travel would settle Robert’s wild nature and make a serious-minded man of him. Constance had her doubts about that, Robert had changed, yes, but she would hesitate to call it a serious-minded change. He seemed much older than a mere year could account for, and rougher, sharper. As if his travels had honed him like a blade, and left a glint in his eye of steel and danger. He spent as much time as ever in the gambling-halls, or out riding and sporting with Enrique. Enrique’s horse found.
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