And there he sat with me, just as in the old days, waiting quietly until I could get a grip on myself." Then we went for coffee, and he told me how things were with him. He said that lying in the hospital, he couldn't handle the rage, and the self-contempt, and the loathing. When they released him he was still taking a dozen showers a day. He went crazy, he said, and he still couldn't sleep without terrible nightmares. Any large man still terrifies him, he said. He thought it was somehow his fault, exactly what he had told any number of girls they should never believe about themselves. He felt polluted, inside and out. He tried to remember, relive the horror of it one person at a time, to exorcize it from his mind. But no use. That only made it worse, he said." For a time he went on the streets and sold himself, he felt so worthless. He couldn't concentrate, or hold a job. He tried to kill himself, twice, he said, but he failed even there. Worst of all, he couldn't confide in anyone,. It would provide cover for him. They'd pass the doorway probably on their way to the kitchen or to the right to the flight of stairs. Yes. The study was the best option.Inspecting the study, he was pleased to see a small window overlooking the drive. Perfect. Time to wait. His smile was grim and smug. He was very, very confident in his skills.BIANCA LEANED FORWARD, ELBOWS on the restaurant table, and stared out over the waterfront. Huge gleaming white super yachts were docked stern in. Some had people sunbathing on their multilevel decks, some had parties in progress, their decks filled with beautiful people. Her eyes were distracted by a speeding boat curving though the sea, behind it a bikini-clad woman cut a sharp wake through the water on one water-ski. "Look," she pointed. "I want to try water-skiing, Julian."He grunted a non-response. Turning her gaze away from the view she noticed him staring off somewhere. His green eyes still made her look twice every time she saw them. They.
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