I hated that it was beginning to feel routine...normal... but I had no idea what I could do while I waited for theprofessor to get back to me. I'm not sure if going back to Pastor Joneswould help, particularly because I still find myself unable toarticulate my situation in a coherent manner that wouldn't bemisinterpreted. I should count my blessings she didn't think I wascrazy, or tell me that I needed to be 'fixed', considering some of thestories I read about online about people who 'came out'. I'm not sureif I saw what was happening to me as a punishment from above, and Idon't know if a fire and brimstone approach would solve anything.I had another surprise episode with Violet when, before practice, shetook me aside and told me to focus. Echoing the Coach, she firmly toldme, "Keep your mind on the routine or someone will get hurt."Just as with Britney and Jen, I wanted to tell her that my mind was allon practice, but the mixture of awe and fear still intimidated me andall I. I am not looking for any monetary benefit. I merely would appreciate some manly attention, at least for a while. Perhaps you could put in a good word for me, and encourage John in the matter, madam."Angelina thought for a moment, then responded, "Sylvia, If I were to suggest to John that I would not object to him paying some ... close ... attention to you, would that be acceptable? I will also say that your job is not in jeopardy, in case you were wondering." I would certainly be appreciative, madam." Remember, I cannot force my husband to do anything against his will. If he wishes to act in a certain way, for my ultimate benefit, that is up to him, but if he refuses, despite my persuasion, I can do no more, Sylvia, no matter what you might threaten." Mrs Frederickson, please understand that beggars can not be choosers. I do not threaten. I merely ask that he consider my request; I cannot force anyone to do anything they would be averse to doing. I hope that I am not considered ugly.
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